The art of endings - embracing the space in-between

Endings are hard, aren’t they? Whether they’re chosen, forced upon you, or they just happen, they leave a mark. It’s hard to trust that something else will fill the space they create. It’s hard to sit in that space, that liminal space. In fact, it’s not just hard; it’s uncomfortable, brave, reckless, and even crazy—especially in a society that rewards sticking things out, persevering, and always having a plan.

But here’s the thing: that space in-between is also a magical time. It’s full of potential. It’s the time when the future is unknown, where all possibilities lie hidden. It’s in this space that we grow.

The Uncomfortable Magic of the Unknown

When something ends, you’re often left raw and uncertain. Maybe it’s the end of a job, a relationship, or a chapter of life. That moment of “What now?” feels like standing on the edge of a cliff, peering into a foggy abyss. The instinct is to back away, to rush toward solid ground, to fill the space with anything that feels familiar.

But what if you didn’t?

Ram Dass, the spiritual teacher, calls this discomfort “gist for the mill.” It’s the grist of life, the hard things that grind you down and, in doing so, refine you. They change you. They teach you. They guide you to what’s next. In the liminal space, you’re forced to meet yourself. Oof. That’s uncomfortable, isn’t it?

The Solstices and the Equinoxes: Nature’s In-Between

I like to think of solstices and equinoxes as metaphors for this space in-between. These are the pauses in nature’s rhythm, the times when “normal” stops for a moment. The solstice—the longest or shortest day—is a turning point. The equinox, a balance of light and dark, is a moment of equipoise. These transitions remind us that change is cyclical, that endings make way for beginnings.

If nature’s not your thing, think about the time between Christmas and New Year’s. The world seems to pause in an almost surreal way. You lose track of days, caught in a bubble where nothing feels quite real. It’s a time when many of us reflect, often uncomfortably, on the year that’s ending and the unknown of the one ahead. That pause is the essence of the liminal space.

Resisting the Urge to Fill the Gap

In those spaces, the urge to do something can feel overwhelming. You want to fill the emptiness, to distract yourself from the discomfort. But what if you didn’t? What if you allowed yourself to sit in the silence, in the void?

What might you discover there?

Growth Happens in the In-Between

The liminal space is where transformation happens. It’s where you grow, even though you can’t yet know what lies ahead. Endings strip away the familiar, leaving you exposed to possibility. It’s a vulnerable and courageous place to be. But it’s also where the magic happens.

Next time you find yourself in that uncomfortable pause, resist the urge to rush forward. Trust that this space is here for a reason. Let it teach you, change you, and guide you.

Because endings are hard. But they’re also the beginning of everything new.